#JuicyInJune Day 16: Frustration & Disappointment

I went through with weighing in this morning.  Even though I’ve been worried that I look about the same as I did at the beginning of this challenge, I had low key thought/expected to see a 2-3 pound loss.  After all, we all have a hard time detecting progress with our own bodies, since we see ourselves every day, and I’ve been doing everything I should be doing.

Instead, my fears were confirmed: I am exactly where I was, when I weighed out at the end of #SnatchedForSummer.

Actually, it was worse than that.  I was one pound UP.  I became depressed pretty much instantly, and went right back to bed.  It was about 6:30a, so I didn’t have to be up yet, anyway.

When I got up for the day for real, a bit later this morning, I weighed again and the extra pound was gone, probably thanks to peeing.  The point is, there has been zero progress whatsoever on the scale.

I feel really defeated, because the dark thoughts of never being able to break through this plateau are becoming more and more real.  I want to lose 25 pounds, which is already a lot of weight to lose.  And, I’m working so hard, only to fail at losing even 1 pound.

I’ve cut calories to only about 1500/day, meaning I’m eating at a deficit daily– which should be enough on its own for weight loss.  I’m working out pretty hard.  And A LOT.  For fuck’s sake, I went to CrossFit and two spin classes yesterday (after the normal 45 minute class I went to was over, the instructor invited anyone who wanted to to stay for her next “express”/30 minute class, for free; I did so).  WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO?

I’m trying not to feel overwhelmed by hopelessness.  My next move will be to dial in my macros, I guess.  I’m going to have to sort out meals that will leave me with a 45/35/20 percentage of calories from protein/fat/carbs.  This is the distribution recommended by Michael Matthews, and a lot of people seem to have had success with his advice, based on Amazon reviews of his books.

So I guess there’s a lot of chicken breasts and broccoli in my future.  Ugh.

#JuicyInJune Day 15

After today, I’ll officially be past the halfway point of #JuicyInJune!  Things are going pretty well, but I do have a double today to make up for a rest day that I took last week.

This is what this morning’s metcon looked like:

Screen Shot 2016-06-15 at 10.21.06 AM

I most certainly did NOT Rx this one.  I’m still forcing caution upon myself– not to mention, I’m just not necessarily on the level of feeling like I really could Rx this wod without shit getting ugly.  You know, bad form, questionable reps, etc.

More than anything, I didn’t want to have to worry about snatching or cleaning/pressing a heavy-ish 95# from the floor for each set.  I can muscle clean 75# easily, so I figured that would be a good weight for me, and went with it.

Finished the wod in 8:30, which was a respectable time; and, I used a respectable weight, based on what I saw from others on the board.  Had a beautiful breakfast (still completely devoted to my blueberry coconut pancake + eggs with avocado combo), and now I can recharge a bit and get some work done before wod #2, which will be The Dreaded: spin.

The problem is, spinning really is great for torching calories.  I finally figured out how to get my heart rate monitor working (more on that to come, but spoiler: I’m LOVING it), and I discovered in a spin class earlier this week that I burned somewhere around 480 calories in 45 minutes.  And, that was on a day where I wasn’t even feeling juicy!  I imagine if I felt like I could’ve given my all, the burn would’ve been even more impressive.

In terms of my appearance, I’m at a point where I feel like I look the same, and have looked the same for a few weeks.  I’m trying not to stress about it, and just trust that living right will sort everything out.

I’m also considering doing a weigh-in tomorrow morning, just as a check-point for being halfway through #JuicyInJune.  I want to make sure that I’ve made progress, because if I haven’t, I’d rather know NOW, so that I don’t waste the final two weeks of the challenge repeating things that aren’t working.

Then again, the scale stresses me the fuck out.  So, yeah.  We’ll see.

I’m…Kind of a Big Deal.

Obviously, I am not.  But, Naturally Curly reached out to me about doing a feature a few weeks back, and it just went up today!

Screen Shot 2016-06-13 at 10.10.29 AM

Back in 2010, when I first decided I wanted to start growing my hair to its full potential, Naturally Curly was one of few resources that were around back then.  It really means a lot to have been noticed by them, because they’re kind of a big deal!

I’m also really happy that they wanted me to talk so much about fitness, for the feature.  Health and fitness matter so much more than hair, so it’s nice to see the focus shift a bit.

I hope you guys take a moment to check out the writeup, and thanks to all of my blog and YouTube supporters.  Without you, none of this would be possible!

#JuicyInJune Day 8

IMG_20160608_103153

Coconut flour pancake + eggs and avocado = HOTSA HELLZ YEAH for under 500 calories!

This morning was a HIIT workout, which was fairly miserable.  It was very nice to come home and have a dope ass breakfast, afterward.  I’d planned to do a double today, but decided against it, since I already have a double lined up for tomorrow– and one of those will be 1RM testing for my deadlift, followed by metcon.  That’s going to be taxing.

My energy has been a lot better, the past week.  I’ve been sleeping more or less through the night, and I feel pretty good in the morning.  Throughout the day, my mood is also pretty good.  But, I’m still not quite where I want to be.  There’s just an overall haziness, a cloak of slight drowsiness that seems to plague me all day, even when I’m feeling “alert.”

My hunch is that it’s parasites/a parasite.  I know, I know, *shudder*.  But, the truth is, we ALL have parasites, pretty much all the time.  I’ve wanted to do a parasite cleanse, but I have an allergy to tree nuts.  Black walnut hull is one of the main things you need to do a parasite cleanse, so I’m not really sure how to go about this.

A year and a half ago, I was about 5 months into Nutrition Response Testing (I no longer do this; stopped sometime last fall because I’d failed to see progress in several months).  I won’t go too far into my experience and thoughts on that here, because it will completely derail what is meant to be a quick update.  But, maybe for another day, another post.

Anyway, one day around my 5 month mark, I woke up and I would’ve sworn I was CURED.  My energy and mood were incredible.  I had such clarity.  I even felt like my vision was sharper.  And, I’d lost weight, which I hadn’t been able to do on my own for a year, maybe longer.  I just felt like a completely new person– no, even better, I felt like my old self!

But then, after a week or less, it went away.  The energy and overall joie de vivre that I’d felt was gone, and I went back to just feeling “okay” at best, and “not great,” the rest of the time.  I’ve tried to reclaim the way I felt that week, ever since– indeed, it’s why I wasted my time in Nutrition Response Testing for over a year afterward.  The feeling never did come back.

In retrospect, I’ve come to believe that I may have passed a parasite, just before that Magical Week.  It’s really the only explanation I can come up with.  A major part of the first phase of Nutrition Response Testing is killing shit.  Fungus.  Bad bacteria.  Parasites.  So, I was on high doses of supplements, at the time– many of which were aimed at killing shit that was harming my body.

I think that the supplements successfully killed a parasite, or something, and that was why my body was able to thrive again.  I think the feeling didn’t last, though, because there was/is more work to be done.  Something else needs to be killed.

So, yeah, now, I want to figure out a parasite cleanse that won’t send me to the hospital in anaphylactic shock.  It’s on the “to do” list.  For someone who exercises, eats well and gets adequate sleep, I should have SO MUCH ENERGY.  But, I don’t.  And it fucking sucks.

That Time I Put Food in My Hair (Greek Yogurt Edition)


Above is a YouTube video.  In it, I talk about using Greek Yogurt to deep condition my hair.  I am very much against putting food in my hair, for the most part (coconut oil, coconut vinegar, honey and coconut butter are notable exclusions, of course).

But!  I kind of liked this!  I think it did good things for my hair, and I’m going to try it again.  I’m thinking I may try adding some marshmallow root next time, because it’s known for adding slip.  I’ll keep y’all posted.

#JuicyInJune Day 6

I saw this today, and I said “FUCK YES I’M DOING THAT.”

Screen Shot 2016-06-06 at 6.56.13 PM

I thrive with squats.  I live for a metcon that’s all bodyweight.  It’s basically everything I love to do when I train, in one workout.  But, it wasn’t going to be easy.  There were quite a few obstacles standing in my way.

1.) I haven’t tested for my 1RM on anything in over two years.  So, I legit don’t know where I stand with my maxes.

2.) I had a doctor’s appointment today (nothing serious, just a checkup), and I knew I’d have to fast in preparation of getting blood work done.

3.) Said doctor’s appointment wasn’t until 2:30pm today, which basically meant I’d have to starve all day long.

4.) On top of all that, I’m already struggling with issues of fatigue on the daily, so that’s fun, too.

Bearing all of that in mind, I vetoed a morning workout.  I knew it would be less-than-smart to 1RM, and then do a metcon, and then NOT EAT FOR SEVERAL HOURS AND THEN ALSO GET BLOOD DRAWN.

Unfortunately, I still knew I’d only have about an hour between the doctor and the gym, which isn’t enough time to digest a big meal.  So, I suffered all day, went to my appointment, raced home as fast as I could and smashed in 2 coconut flour pancakes (with some ‘naners in ’em, this batch), and some eggs with avocado.  I also had some green tea, knowing that a little caffeine would be critical, today.  Then, I headed to the gym.

As Kendrick Farris would say, “bless the gym.”  The walk to the gym sucked.  And, warming up with a 1000M row didn’t build any more confidence in my energy level, today.  In short, I was NOT feeling juicy.

But, somewhere between sets 2 and 3 of squatting, I realized that I felt strong— even though I didn’t have all of my blood.

My old 1RM on the back squat was somewhere around 200#.  Maybe a bit more?  I don’t remember, honestly.  And, I’m not going to go dig out my old CrossFit notebook, just to check.  So, today, I worked off of a hypothetical 1RM of 190, for all of the sets.  In the end, I squatted 195# successfully, then bailed on a 205# attempt.  I think I could’ve done it, but I freaked out at the bottom of the squat, instead.

Metcon went decently well, too.  I did it in 8:15, Rxing the 20″ height (for ladies; guys had 24″), on the box jumps.  Not a fast time, or anything.  I just kept a steady pace, plodded through it and felt better for it, in the end.

The blood work results should be back toward the end of this week.  I’m expecting to hear that I’m deficient in Vitamin D, because I tested super low for it 2 years ago, and never filled my prescription from the doctor for it.  I wanted to try to correct the issue naturally, and I was seeing a holistic specialist at the time who warned me strongly against taking any supplements that were made in a lab.

While I still agree with that approach, I’m still tired as fuck, all the time, 2 years later.  I stopped seeing my naturopath because I was failing to see any results with her advice.  So, I’m pretty sure that I’m as low in Vitamin D as I was before– if not lower.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do, once these results come back.  But, I do know that I’m going to keep a more open mind to what the doc says, this time around.

#JuicyInJune Day 2

Screen Shot 2016-06-02 at 8.51.10 PM

This was today’s WOD.  The deadlifts went pretty well, considering I’m still playing it super duper safe with my weight loads.  I “quit” CrossFit a couple of years ago.  But, much like Jay Z’s retirement, my retirement turned out to be a bunch of horse shit.

Since I’m just coming back to CrossFit, though, I’m making sure I stay really conservative with my weights.  This isn’t my first rodeo, and I’m going in with a “FUCK INJURIES” mantra.

In CrossFit Round #1, my 1RM deadlift was 295#.  I’m not stupid enough to think I could do that today, since I haven’t tested for my 1RM in about 3 years.  So, I maxed out for my “50-60%” today at 135#.  It felt pretty easy, which made me happy.

The AMRAP wasn’t too bad.  I was able to Rx it, since the wallball Rx was only 14#, the box jumps were only 20″ and I’m used to swinging heavier 16kg in my home workouts.  I detest overheard swings, though.  I think they promote bad form, even on people who have a good foundation with kettlebells (in other words, me).  But, I did them anyway, because sometimes I’m an idiot and do what’s on the board, even when I don’t think it’s a good idea.

Then, I had signed up for another class after CrossFit that’s usually 85% stretching, with a little bit of strength work thrown in, but the normal teacher was out.  So, instead, it was about 5-10% stretching, and the rest was a moderately challenging strength circuit.  Uhm, so yeah.  I accidentally did a double today…  Could be worse, because now I’ve earned a #JuicyInJune rest day, for when I feel like I need one.

Then, I had dinner.

IMG_20160602_205643

Best part of my day, easily.  Yes, the burger is grass-fed.  I’ve been using iceberg lettuce for my lettuce-wraps, lately.  It works so much better than lettuces that…you know…actually contain nutritional value.  I guess I’m willing to trade some vitamins for a lettuce that’s actually sturdy enough to hold my burger, which can’t be said for green leaf or red leaf.

The fries were baked in the oven, and that is exactly 3 ounces of them, which is one serving.  Look, lay off me.  I’m counting calories.  I don’t claim to eat a paleo diet, so I do enjoy white potatoes, in moderation.  These are the Alexia Organic Yukon Select Fries, which I buy because they don’t have apple juice or any other weird shit on them.  Yes, apple juice.  Read the ingredients on your foods, and you’ll be surprised what you find.

The pickle is a pickle.  I’m only mentioning it because I’ve really been enjoying these particular pickles.  They’re the spicy dill pickles by Ruuska All Natural Pickles.  I found this in the refrigerated section, and they live there because they don’t have any preservatives.  This is also the main reason I like them.

Even after adding 2 tablespoons of ketchup (I used Organicville’s today, if it matters), this whole meal clocks in under 450 calories.  I really love this dinner, because, hello, burgers and fries!  It allows me to have a classic combination that’s a personal favorite, while still avoiding the foods I like to avoid (dairy, grains, soy and sugar, though the ketchup does add some sugar from the agave in it).

Best of all, it doesn’t blow my entire calorie budget for the day, which would almost definitely happen if I had this meal at a restaurant.  Mind you, that’s still a nice size burger.  4 1/2 ounces, pre-cooked.  Finding meals I still get excited about is what makes all of this hard work not seem so hard.

Now, I’m off to floss and get ready for bed.  After all, tomorrow is just day 3 of 30 in this challenge.  Ugh.